Global Warming is a real problem ... and then there's this. The quantities of ice at both poles are growing rapidly and overall, the earth is experiencing much cooler temps (did you see those pictures of snow in Cairo, Egypt?).
In order to combat this disturbing trend in our climate, President Barrack Hussein Obama has signed an Executive Order, bypassing the entire Legislative Branch of the US Government, ordering the immediate implementation of a carbon deficiency tax. If a business or individual is found to be emitting too little CO2, they will be heavily fined until they step up and do their duty as citizens of the world. After all, there are millions of people in the third world who are freezing at night and it is our job to provide for them. It is expected, mostly by the mainstream media, that Obama will be awarded a second Nobel Peace Prize for his good intentions.
In a related story, Al Gore has firmly denounced the right wing lunatics and global cooling deniers for having duped him into believing we were in fact facing global warming. He noted that he has carefully examined the proof and "the science is now settled" on global cooling. It is here and it is going to kill us all unless we do something like build more coal fired power plants.
India, China and Russia have declared that global cooling is a capitalist power grab and have vowed to cut C02 emissions as much as possible.
We reached out to Michael Moore for comment but he was unavailable as he was busy eating lunch.
Meanwhile, this writer is still freezing his ass off, no matter what we choose to call this.
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